i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
