Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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