so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
