words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
