we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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