Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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