bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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