think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
