Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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