I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
