WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize