dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There's always time for handjobs
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize