So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
