hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
