somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize