He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
