I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize