spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
