I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
