They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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