problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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