I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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