belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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