just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
