So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
