i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
