If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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