So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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