is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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