I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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