oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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