it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
