guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize