DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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