party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
