Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
