Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
