thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
