history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
