how can u be prego again
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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