Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
