this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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