physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
