did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
someone threw a dead crab at me
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
