school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
