i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
