I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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