you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
