i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
