Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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