bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
