the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
