i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
