I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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