how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
