we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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