All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
