So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
