the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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