I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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