well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
