ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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