I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize