No awkward lesbian experiences without me
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
