I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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