she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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