When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize