RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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