so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
