So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
