I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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