So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize