So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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