Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
