I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
