We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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