I molested 6 butterflies tonight
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
