Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The uberlube is also flammable
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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